While there will be new things to learn about your partner (we all evolve and change in some ways), it’s incredibly important to discuss values/beliefs and un-spoken rules that you and your partner have learned leading up to your relationship together.
Values/beliefs and un-spoken rules can lead to expectations. Without discussing expectations, couples can make assumptions about their relationship. Sometimes, in the beginning of relationships, partners let things slide that they aren’t 100% ok with. Early avoidance of hard conversations may feel like preserving the relationship or “not rocking the boat.” This can create unhealthy patterns that then sets the stage for the marriage.
- Creates a safe space to have hard conversations.
- Assists with identifying strengths and areas of growth.
- Assists with communication skills.
- Assists with navigating disagreements and arguments (fighting fair)
- Assists with building and strengthening your relationship
- Assists with identifying and discussing each partner’s expectations, wants, and needs
- Provides tools to couples to continue to grow in their marriage
While we may bring up topics you’ve already discussed, there are likely several subjects that you may not have considered before. This new perspective may uncover new details for you and your partner.
For guidance and support to strengthen your future marriage, please contact me to schedule an appointment.
Pre-Marital Therapy Myths
1) There has been a long-held belief that if you are participating in pre-marital therapy, “there is something already wrong with the relationship.”
Pre-Marital Therapy assists couples in preparing for marriage. It is a way to build upon and strengthen an already positive relationship and to equip couples with tools to maintain a loving and healthy marriage.
2) We don’t need pre-marital therapy; we’ll figure it out along the way.
While everyone inevitably has to do some “figuring it out along the way,” this may lead to struggles that are avoidable. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Some couples see signs of difficulty early in their marriage and the average couple waits six years before reaching out for help. Relationships already have highs and lows. Pre-marital therapy provides the tools to identify what has become difficult and how to take action so there is less time spent in these low seasons.
3) There is no time.
Not only is there work/school or maybe work + school . . . there is also regular everyday life (e.g., running errands, taking care of kids or pets, social life, exercise, spiritual life). Oh! And, of course, let’s not forget what has likely just taken over everything – wedding planning. There will likely be appointments to visit venues, have tastings, and browse floral arrangements (fun!). You’ll likely block time in your schedule to make these appointments happen. They are important to help prepare for the wedding and reception to be beautiful and to be smoothly orchestrated. I encourage you to think about your relationship in a similar way. Pre-marital therapy helps prepare partners to lovingly and confidently navigate their marital journey.